Kathleen Hardaway

Tag - singles

Do You Ever Feel Alone?

Are you married with children and still feel alone? You may be single and feel desperately alone. The great epidemics in our society are not only HIV/AIDS, diabetes, or cancer, but the enormous increase of people feeling alone. What changed? What happened to a society that once related to programs such as “Father Knows Best” and “Leave It to Beaver”? The ideal marriage; friendships with your neighbors; or walking on sidewalks where you feel safe, secure, and not alone seem to be difficult to find.

The heart of every person longs for a sense of community, a sense of belonging, a strong desire to simply love and be loved. If you’re married and your mate is not meeting these needs in your life or if you’re single and you have no one, what do you do? Be miserable? Have an affair? Find someone on the internet? Many seem to be running to drugs, alcohol, food, and even to the television set—to anything that will help fill that void in their lives that is so painful.

There are no simple answers for this plague of feeling lonely. Most everyone desires companionship, friendship, and courtship. “I Will Always Love You,” (written by Dolly Parton, sung by Whitney Houston) is one of the top selling singles of all time. Not only is the music to this song fabulous, but so many can relate to it. Not only do we desire to be loved, but we desire for someone to always love us. Always. Not just some of the time, but always and forever.

Women enjoy a good love story. The knight in shining armor, the long-awaited prince finally speaks the words that he will always love his princess. But what do you do when your life has not turned out like a Hollywood movie or the ideal romance novel? One thing that you can know for sure: Your Heavenly Father is the only One Who has perfect love. It is eternal; it will never end. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He formed you in your mother’s womb. He knows you better than anyone. He desires your very best.

In your loneliness, turn to Him. In your hurt and frustration, tell Him how badly it hurts. You may desperately desire someone to hold you, someone to comfort you, someone simply to just be with you. I understand. When the difficulties of singleness come, I choose to believe this is God’s plan for my life today.

Do not believe a lie from the enemy that says, “Life will always be this way!” It’s not God’s plan for you to be miserable, feeling alone; but it is His plan that in your loneliness you run to Him, cling to Him, and give your life completely to Him.

Tell Him what you‘re feeling—everything. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Never give up. Don’t lose heart. Don’t believe that you will always be lonely. Live each day being the best mother, wife, friend, husband, father, brother, sister you possibly can be. If you’re walking and living in Christ, you are not alone.

…I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).

Husband and Home: Is It a Package Deal?

Quite often little girls grow up playing house, playing with Barbie and Ken, playing with baby dolls.

It seems to be the nature of what most girls do. They think surely someday the toys will no longer be make-believe but will become reality. How quickly time goes by, and the young girls become teens and some become boy-crazy beyond words. Boys, boys, boys. What else is there; what else really matters? And before you know it, the boys are now men and you wonder what happened?

Days have turned into months, months have turned into years, and still no husband and no house. How could this be? Your dreams of being married and living in your dream home look like an impossibility. You’re still single, living in what appears to be a couple’s world. A world that asks the question, Why aren’t you married?

I certainly can relate to every bit of this. I was one boy-crazy little girl, teenager, and young woman. I used to think that a husband and a house were a package deal. I always thought the two went together. You get married; you buy a house. This is how it works—so I thought.

Was I ever wrong! Last year single women purchased one of every five homes sold. That’s nearly 1.5 million; and if you’re counting, that’s twice as many as single men bought, according to the National Association of Realtors. I made the jump and joined this group of home owners.

I never thought I would do this alone. I never really thought I could. I was a bit scared, freaked out, excited—all wrapped up in one. I took the big leap, and I’m so glad I did. I prayed hard. I sought the Lord’s guidance all along the way. My strongest prayer was, “God, not my will but Yours. Close the doors if this is not what You have for me.” God confirmed it at every turn, and yes, it was a process.

It didn’t happen the first time I looked for a home. Nothing was right. It was not God’s timing. Waiting can be so hard, but it’s always worth it. This time around, the right house, at the right time, in the right neighborhood all fell into place. I wasn’t even looking for a house; it just happened.

Are you like I was—a little scared to make the jump? I’m not necessarily encouraging you to purchase a home. Many of you are way ahead of me, and you did this even in your twenties. You didn’t wait until you were in your forties to buy a home. If you have a strong desire to own your own home, begin praying about it. Mine was a very long wait, and then it happened fast.

Not only do you need to pray, but there are things you need to do on your end. Before you ever start the process of purchasing a house, be sure your finances are in order. Here are a few things to consider:

  1. How is your credit rating? The higher your score, the better for you in every aspect of this important decision.
  2. Find out up front how much you can borrow, and get pre-qualified.
  3. Do you have high credit card debt? Work toward getting out of debt as much as possible.
  4. Consider the entire cost for the purchase. Taxes, home insurance, the mortgage rate, interest rates, a home inspection, and the closing costs.
  5. Be sure you work with a realtor you can trust. I worked with my mother who is a realtor. Not everyone can be quite this fortunate.
  6. Consider everything you will need when you move. There will be things you probably will need to purchase, like a refrigerator, washer and dryer, furniture, and lawn mower. I had to purchase all these things. I had some furniture, but not enough to fill up a house. And, think about the cost of the move.
  7. Consider using a mortgage company that will not sell your loan.
  8. There will be expenses such as putting in phone lines, possibly cable or satellite television. Do you want high-speed Internet or Internet access at all?
  9. You may decide you need an alarm system. Many singles won’t live without one. Typically, there is an installation cost, and then the monthly bills.
  10. Your house may need to be treated for bugs. Not just once, but possibly on a regular basis.
  11. If you’re purchasing an older home, there may be many hidden problems with the house. New or old, NEVER purchase a home without having a good quality home inspection.
  12. Pray, pray, pray.

These are just a few simple things I’ve learned along the way. There are many great Web sites and books on purchasing your first home. God knows your future. Be smart; don’t buy beyond your means. This may mean changing how you spend your money. You should live on a budget, if you don’t already. Don’t wait.

You may be thinking that with your salary, purchasing a home will never happen. Never say, “Never.” But no matter what happens, remember God has built our ultimate dream home, one beyond our wildest imagination, one that nothing here on earth will even begin to compare. Things may be very hard for you right now financially. Keep seeking the Lord for His provision. Do your part; take baby steps toward becoming smarter with your finances.

God has a plan; He has a purpose. He has a place that is perfect just for you. Keep pressing on. Keep believing His precepts, and He will bless you as you continue to walk in His ways and trusting Him with your life.

“In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare place for you, I will come again and receive you unto Myself; that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:2-3).

See more at: http://www.believe.com/articles/Husband-and-Home-Is-It-a-Package-Deal/?source=fCon#sthash.eiEjQBGW.dpuf